After Ellie was born there was a time when I would leave my house at 7:15am and be home around 6pm. I worked full time and commuted. If I was lucky enough, I would see Ellie for about an hour before she went to bed. A lot of people have this schedule. This is what is considered normal. However seeing my daughter for one hour a day wasn't good enough for me. It crushed me. I was also photographing sessions on the weekends and I didn't want to give that up. Photography was something I did for myself. It was my creative freedom, my inspiration, and I received greater fulfillment than my full time job. Then I thought, "What if I made my passion my career?"
Whenever I could sneak in some alone time with Ellie, I would take her to the children's museum and the zoo. There is a fountain at the zoo with pennies at the bottom for wishes. I stopped the stroller, took out a penny and looked at Ellie. I said to her, "I'm going to figure out a way that we can spend more time together." My throat was all chocked up and my eyes full of tears, I threw the penny into the fountain. I was tired of trying to balance a full time job with a commute, squeezing in being a mom, a wife, tending to our house, and keeping up with my passion of photography. Not to mention hardly any time for friends, family, or self care. It was too much for me.
I talked to Ricky multiple times about switching from a full time job and commuting to owning my own business. I can't tell you how many conversations we had. It was a scary change for me. He is so supportive and I wouldn't of been able to do this without him. In March of 2019, I took a leap of faith. We had our second daughter Frannie in May 2020. It's a transition that we are still trying to work out, but it's the most rewarding. I'm so glad I get to spend all this time with my daughters. I'll never get this time back. They are only little once and before I know it, they'll be all grown up. Time if fleeting.
Once a year, around their birthdays I like to capture what our typical day is like. No dressing up, backdrops, or props. I want them to remember we wore jammies until after breakfast. Sometimes all day. We wore costumes, created art, baked, raced cars, dressed up dolls and ate too many snacks. We watched shows, cried, laughed, and I snuck in lots of kisses and snuggles. It may not look like much to you, but this is everything I wanted when I made that wish near the fountain. Some days it's really difficult. Like when they're sick, or just having a bad day. Images, galleries, and emails will be left unattended because I am a mom first. I work during their nap time and late into the evening. I'm still trying to figure out how to make it all work. But, I am so happy with my decision. I love being here for them more than anything. Even on the bad days, I remind myself of that day at the fountain and I smile because I know in my heart this is exactly where I want to be.